“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” -Mark Twain

“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” -Jesus Christ

In his book “Unconditional” Brian Zahnd asks this question, “So what is your story? Who has been cruel to you? Perhaps bitterly cruel. What injustice have you suffered? How have you been mistreated? Perhaps miserably so. Who has cheated you? Abused you? Lied to you? Lied about you? Maybe it was last week. Maybe it was a lifetime ago.” ⁱ

It is interesting to look at Jesus’ words in Mark 11 concerning interpersonal forgiveness, “And, whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25 ESV) Christ is in effect saying that our vertical relationship with God is much more related to our horizontal relationships with those around us, than we would like to admit.

As our personal creator, Jesus understands how we are made. Not just spiritually, but physiologically as well. Our bodies simply are not fashioned to carry the burden and weight of unforgiveness. Psychiatrist Loren Olson recently noted that “those more inclined to pardon the transgressions of others have been found to have lower blood pressure, fewer depressive symptoms and, once they hit late middle age, better overall mental and physical health than those who do not forgive easily.” ⁱⁱ

Forgive easily? Is that even possible? We all have heard someone say (or maybe even said it ourselves), “I will forgive, but I will never forget!” Ev Worthington, whose elderly mother was brutally beaten, raped, and left alone to slowly bleed to death by an enraged burglar, gives personal insight into this. “Sometimes people have a hard time admitting that they aren’t forgiving a person who hurt them. They think that forgiving is a matter of saying certain words — ‘I forgive you’, but there is a heart by-pass. Being able to say the words is a step, but the Lord really wants our hearts touched.”

At the core, forgiveness is releasing a debt. Choosing not to harbor the hurt and anger anymore. Opening the door for healing — maybe even reconciliation.

Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s always necessary. And it only takes one to forgive. When you get to the heart of the matter, our ability to forgive is rooted in the fact that we have been forgiven by Christ, in God. (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)

All relationships demand the deep oil of forgiveness. When we forgive it breaks the poisonous cycle of revenge, and allows the broken to walk in peace. The Jesus way is always the way of forgiveness. We forgive to free ourselves and to get our lives back. His way is the way that gives the future hope… a hope that can turn your life around.

ⁱ Zahnd, B., (2010). Unconditional? The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness. Orlando, FL: Charisma House.

ⁱⁱ Olson, L. A., (2011, March/April). Forgiveness: You Life Depends Upon It. Family Therapy Magazine, 10(2), 28-31.

May 3, 2012

R – E – S – P – E – C – T. This 1967 smash hit by Aretha Franklin quickly exploded up the charts. While it was written by Otis Redding in 1965 as a man’s plea for respect and recognition, the roles were reversed for Franklin’s version. Her rendition was a landmark for the feminist movement, and is often considered one of the best songs of the R&B era. The popularity of this song (she won 2 Grammys in 1968) seemed to voice the general feeling of people everywhere. In 2002, the Library of Congress honored Franklin’s version by adding it to the National Recording Registry.

Rodney Dangerfield developed a whole comedy routine, and ultimately career, with one simple bi-line — “I don’t get no RESPECT!!” His comedy album No Respect also won a Grammy Award.

In her book, For Women Only, Christian author, Shaunti Feldhahn, writes that when men are asked which they would choose — to be alone and unloved, or feel inadequate and disrespected (not that we men would really want either) — nearly 75% chose alone and unloved.ⁱ Think about that. These men would rather be alone with no love, than to be made to feel inadequate and disrespected.

What’s interesting is that if you pay close attention to today’s teens, you will hear them express a desire not to be ‘dissed"… slang for disrespected. Often this disrespect comes in the form of insulting put downs, rejection, or dismissive behavior. It seems that everyone yearns in some way for this seemingly innate desire to feel respected.

While in prison, the great Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the believers in Philippi. The overall message of the letter is "joy". Paul is not writing to just the "saints" as he did in Ephesians and Colossians. It is striking that he adds the “overseers and deacons” (Philippians 1:1 NASB) to his greeting, as if to make a special effort to include those in leadership. In chapter 2, Paul makes a heartfelt appeal. He asks that all reading his letter would make his joy complete. How? By being intent on one purpose — “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.” (Philippians 2:3 KJV) The ultimate in respect. Each person esteeming every other person better than themselves. Perhaps that is why he added the leadership to his salutation. It’s as if he was saying that status doesn’t negate responsibility. Dignity and worth were to be attributed to every person equally. Could Paul have been remembering what David voiced in Psalm 8, “What is man that Thou dost take thought of him? And the son of man that Thou dost care for him? Yet Thou hast made him a little lower than God (ELOHIM) and dost crown him with glory and majesty.” (Psalm 8:4-5 NASB) If God feels that way about us, then we too ought to hold each other in high regard. If we lived out our lives exhibiting this kind of respect — where each person thinks of everyone else as more worthy than themselves — it just might turn some marriages, families, teens, work relationships, and maybe even counseling sessions around.

ⁱFeldham, Shaunti Christine, (2004) For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Publishing

April 26, 2012

What a man is before God, that he is and nothing more. -St. Francis of Assisi

Delilah said to him, “How can you say you ‘I love you’ when your heart is not with me?… So Sampson told her all that was in his heart… when Delilah saw that he had told her all that was in his heart, she sent and called the lord of the Philistines… and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his hair… she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Sampson!” And he awoke from his sleep and said, “I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the LORD had abandoned him. (Judges 16)

Sampson. Powerful and strong. It is interesting that his strength was not really in his hair. His strength was in his heart. He was a Nazirite. The Hebrew word nazir means consecrated or separated. And it was by choice. His mother Manoah had dedicated him to this Nazirite vow before his birth. However, Hebrew law required that when he was old enough to understand, he recommit his life… permanently… to this vow. His heart belonged solely to his God. Until he gave it up to Delilah.

In a similar story, Amaziah served as king in Jerusalem. 2 Chronicles 25:2 records this indictment, “And he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, but not with a perfect heart.” Again, the original Hebrew language gives incredible insight into this verse. The word perfect (shalem), denotes complete… full… finished. Most of Amaziah’s heart was God’s. But he had saved out a little portion for himself. In the end, he was defeated and captured by Joash.

Could it be that many of the struggles in our Christian walk can be traced back to the same issue that Sampson and Amaziah had? A heart that is not “perfect” toward God. Those tiny areas that we hang onto for ourselves. The hidden parts. It has been said, “You’re only as sick as your secrets”. Perhaps that is why the Psalmist David pleaded “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me.” Psalm 139:23-24 (KJV) Again in Psalm 19:12 (KJV) “… cleanse thou me from secret faults.”

The “grace” piece in all of this, is that God will do just that. He will show you the fragment of your heart that is not His. His Light will shine in the dark places of your heart to reveal the “secret place”. The sin that we cover, He will uncover — the sin that we uncover, He will cover. Surrender your whole heart to Him. Without a doubt, it will turn your life around.

April 19, 2012

“We must never minimize the suffering of another. Scripture’s mandate to us is, ‘Weep with them that weep.’” -Billy Graham

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” -Jesus Christ

Tucked in the midst of the 50 verses of Luke chapter 7, we find 5 verses that give us great insight into the heart of Jesus. As He approaches a little town called Nain, a funeral procession is just coming out of the gate of the city. A man has died. Luke is careful to point out that the man was the “only son of his mother”. As a widow, the death of her only son relegated her to a life of poverty and degradation. Sounds of her deep bewailing brought tears to the eyes of all who heard. A considerable crowd from the town is with her. Just as the cemetery comes into view, she meets Jesus. “And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her…” (vs. 13 ESV)

“Splagchnizomai” the Greek word for compassion literally means “to be moved as to one’s bowels” (for the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity). Henri J. M. Nouwen asserts that (Jesus) felt the pain of that woman in His guts. It is interesting that this deep empathy drew out of Jesus a much higher level of response than anyone expected — as well as the desire to meet the real need of the widow… “and (He) said to her, ‘Do not weep.’ Then He came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, Arise.’ And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.” (vs. 13-15 ESV)

Nearly every day, God places someone in our life who is consumed with deep pain. A friend whose dad has died. A couple who have tragically abandoned their marriage. The teenage girl — pregnant, scared and confused. A mom and dad whose son or daughter has been killed in the line of duty. Someone’s daughter attempted suicide. Too often, we are so busy and preoccupied that we trivialize another’s pain. We are aware, but not touched. Even our own pain is masked and dismissed.

Christlike compassion sees beyond the surface and begs for a truly empathetic “from the bowels” response. Could Jesus have seen the widow and merely walked by? I think not. His very nature compelled Him to go beyond the “expected” and to fulfill “the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” (James 5:11 ESV) I believe that God has no greater plan than to use His people as His ambassadors of compassion and mercy.

Let’s slow down and really pay attention to those who are “in our way”. Next time, look beyond what is apparent to see the real need. Offer the compassion of Jesus. Lives will be turned around. Not just theirs… but yours as well.

April 11, 2012

Mary Magdalene. A woman whose entire life and persona had been controlled and dominated by demonic activity. She battled not just one spirit of evil. She was consumed with seven. Until one day, when she had a divine appointment with Jesus — “Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out…” (Luke 8:2 ESV) After that encounter, she became a committed follower of Christ. Her story had become His story. Perhaps that is why she was the first person to visit the tomb on that Resurrection morning – even while it was still dark. When she found the stone rolled away, and the tomb empty, she ran to find Peter and John, who ran back to the tomb to see for themselves. And Mary? She “stood weeping outside the tomb” (John 20:11 ESV). Weeping with the pain and grief that is only felt when mourning the death of someone deeply loved. Through her tears, Mary stoops to look inside of the place where her Savior had been laid just a few days before. Two angels tell her that Jesus is not there. When she turns around to leave, she runs right into Jesus. Perhaps because she was in such deep anguish, Mary did not recognize Him. In fact, she thought He was the gardener. After a brief discussion she turns to walk away. Jesus says one word — “Mary!” She “turned and said to Him in Aramaic, ‘Rabboni‘” (vs. 16) The meaning of the word is Teacher or Master. Can you imagine how she must have felt? Relief and joy certainly flooded her heart.

Rewind the story a few days, back to the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus had just finished agonizing in prayer, and was now speaking with Peter, James and John. Suddenly, “Judas came… and with him a crowd with swords and clubs… and when he came, he went up to Him at once and said, ‘Rabbi!’ And he kissed him.” (Mark 14:43-46 ESV)

Two followers of Christ. Both have life changing personal encounters with Him. Both spoke directly to Him, using the same basic word. A word that means teacher or master. However, when Judas uses the word, the meaning is simply that — Master — as a title of honor, which is how Judas viewed Him. When Mary calls Jesus “Rabboni”, the added emphasis deepens the word to express who He really was to her — Lord.

What’s interesting is that some early Christian writings portray Mary Magdalene as a visionary who became a leader in the early church. We know without a doubt from scripture that Judas went out in remorse and hung himself. The difference? Judas had years of head knowledge. Mary’s heart had been changed. Judas was a trusted disciple (he kept the money bag) who “honored God with His lips… but his heart was far from Him” (Matthew 15:8 ESV). Judas said the right things. He believed the wrong things. On the other hand, Mary “believed with her heart and was justified” (Romans 10:10 ESV). Jesus knew her name — Mary. Mary knew His saving power — Lord.

Coming to grips with this difference personally — honoring God with your lips or believing in your heart — will turn your life around. Not just today, but for eternity.

That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death. -Apostle Paul

His story…

THE Passion. “And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly” (Luke 22:44 ESV) The Garden. A place where Jesus had come many times before to pray. But this time was different. This time He was in an agony. What’s interesting is that this is the only time this phrase is used in all of scripture. It was not just agony. It was an agony. A battle… a fight…a struggle in deep anguish. “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me…” Lying on His face, prostrate before His Father. Crying out in such deep distress that the capillaries under his skin burst and “His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (vs. 44). Typically this kind of agony can cause brain damage, or even death. But Jesus lived on… to die…

THE Punishment. “But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:5 ESV) Being hung on a cross to die was common in those days. But this was different. Before the actual crucifixion, Jesus was brutally beaten. Burly Roman soldiers used their clenched fists and pounded His face over and over again “we esteemed Him stricken” (vs. 4). Handfuls of His beard were yanked out. Onlookers walked up to him, cleared their throats, and spit in His face. A crown of thorns was placed on His head, and then driven deep into His skull with wooden reeds “He was afflicted” (vs. 7). Stripped naked, He was scourged with a cat of nine tails – so named because there were nine strands, and on the end of those nine strands were pieces of metal or bone, designed to dig into the skin and rip it open. Normally a man was whipped with 39 lashes. 39 lashes with 9 strands. Do the math. When they were done Jesus’ lacerated flesh hung from His body in long strips, exposing muscle, sinew and even bone — “with His stripes we are healed” (vs. 5 After all of that, He was then made to carry His own cross “Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows” (vs. 4). Nailed to the cross, the One who knew no sin, became sin for us “and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all” (vs. 6).