08/31/2010

A Kid’s View of God:

How is it going with your kids? Do they feel safe with you? More importantly, do they feel protected?

• From the “bully” down the street…
• From the fear of failure…
• From peer pressure…
• From the daily evil in their lives…

In today’s world we want to protect our kids from ALL of the pain life often delivers. But we can’t. However, you, mom and dad, can be a place they can run to. You can be their refuge. Your kids can feel safe. They can feel protected. And understand this spiritual phenomenon – You are an EXAMPLE to them of the protection found in their Heavenly Father. The pattern you set with them as they grow up, directly affects how they will relate to God throughout their whole lives. The degree of intimacy that you establish with your kids now, directly affects the level of intimacy they will have with their Heavenly Father for years and years to come. I am convinced this is what Solomon meant in Proverbs 22:6… “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it”. It is not so much about discipline as it is about relationship. The relationship they have with you will be mirrored in the relationship they have with God. The quality of your relationship, I believe, also directly impacts the effectiveness of your discipline strategy. Show me a home where all you do is discipline, and I will show you a home that has lost relationship. Pray over your kids. Pray with your kids. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Spend time with them. Show them you care. Let them know that they are important. That they matter. And as you do, they will hunger and thirst for relationship…with you…and more importantly, with God…

08/25/2010

Single Parenting:

A quick reference with counseling wisdom and biblical insights to help make you more effective at what you do.

We love being a part of your life! Tim Clinton, Ed.D. President, AACC

Aug 25 – Aug 31 Single Parenting

Action Step

The following guidelines are called the “super Ts” and are the foundation of any good parenting, whether the parent is single or not. They are a basic guide for all parents on how to build relationship and bring up a happy and healthy child. (It should be apparent that for many of these tasks, the single parent will need the help of other adults. No one person can accomplish all these alone.)

1. Time
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. There is no substitute for every hour, minute, and second of quality time fathers and mothers spend with their children. Kids need heavy doses of you every day if possible.
2. Touch
A hug and kiss, holding hands, brushing hair, wrestling, high fives, even cuddling on the couch—most child experts agree kids need at least eleven touches a day. Christian child psychiatrist Grace Ketterman once told me she believes children need at least one hundred loving touches a day!
3. Talk
Find the interests you and your child share, and talk! Or ask your child about his or her day. Remember, communication is more nonverbal than verbal, so be careful of all the different ways you “speak” to your child.
4. Truth
Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (NIV). Parents’ morals fill the little hands and hearts of their children. Therefore, ground your child in the truth of God’s Word.
5. Tenderness
Tenderness is to love unconditionally, and it is having a soft hand of discipline—even when children irritate, argue, or disappoint. It is the same message Jesus shouts to us—in any condition of sin or grace, we are worth everything to Him!
Also learn the way your child gives and receives love and overdose him or her with that love! According to Christian child psychologist Fran Stott, “Every child needs at least one person who’s crazy about him.”
6. Teaching
Whether present or absent, a parent is always teaching something to his or her child. Your child learned something from you today, guaranteed. Don’t miss a moment to teach your child important life lessons. And if one parent is absent, assure the child that he or she deserves two parents—even though one might not be around.
7. Tenacity
Today kids need structure and stability more than ever, for their lives are more erratic, confusing, and rapidly changing than for any generation in history! Parents, be a reference point, an anchor that holds firmly against powerful countercurrents.
The hardest part of parenting is staying persistent. Your investment now is what your child has to “bank” on as he or she grows into a compassionate, competent adult. The truth is children grow up way too soon. Never quit being the parent your child needs.
8. Tomorrow
The most beautiful part of God’s love for us is in what Scripture calls the “blessed hope”—an eternity with Him in heaven. Parents, fill your children’s hearts with hope. Believe in them. Dream with them. Look expectantly to the future! Be big on praise, forgiveness, and grace—and be small on criticism. There is no better inheritance—no amount of money or privilege or worldly power—that can compare to a legacy of hope in a godly future.

Biblical Insights

Parenting is demanding and rewarding. Many people prepare and study for years to enter a chosen profession, but for parenting it’s usually on-the-job training. The goal of parenting is to eventually let the children go.

Eli did not discipline his sons, even though they were priests under his supervision. These men were treating the sacrifices of the people with contempt (2:12–17) and were committing sexual sin with women of the tabernacle. Certainly Eli, as parent and as high priest, had the authority to deal with his sons but he chose not to do anything. Eventually, God stepped in. God gives parents authority over their children. Parents should use their authority wisely to guide their children away from sin.

One of David’s apparent weaknesses was the inability to discipline his children. His failures as a father led to a number of failures and sins in his children. Parents always influence their children—for good and bad. There is no substitute for invested, caring, loving parents who discipline when necessary.

One of the great promises of the Bible is that the mercy of the Lord continues from one generation to the next, even to our children’s children. This does not mean that the children of believers will automatically believe in God, but that God’s mercy and goodness are available to each generation that follows the good example set by the previous generation.

Parents must set the right example for their children, including serving the poor and the needy, as James directs. They must learn not to live only for themselves, to realize they are setting a precedent that will affect generations to come.

Timothy had been learning the Holy Scriptures from childhood. Young children can learn the great truths from stories found in the Bible that show God’s love and power, and Christian parents have the God-given responsibility to raise their children to know and love God and His Word.

The teaching given to young children will be embedded in their minds, giving them a strong foundation on which to build. This training is able to make them “wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”

08/24/2010

Love:

“This is a football” Vince Lombardi…Many consider him to be the greatest pro football coach of all time. But his opening speech at training camp is a study in simplicity. He would stand on a table, hoist a pigskin, and say: “Gentlemen, this is a football.” But, wouldn’t a bunch of big-time NFL pros know that? Yes…but Lombardi understood that as the game grew more and more complicated, emphasizing the basics of the game became more and more essential. Nothing is more basic to the game…than the football. Everything centers on it. The most important “basic” in our faith is love. 1 John 3:11… ”For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another…” Re-think…love. Everything Christian centers around it. Without it, our “words” are an irritating noise…a clanging gong. “…Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another…” (4:11) Re-think…love. Toward total strangers. When the waitress is rude, or somebody cuts you off in traffic…Love covers a multitude of sins. “…By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers…” (3:16) Re-think…love. In the Church. Why is it that it seems to be easier to love someone on the other side of the world, than the other side of the room? “…Let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth…” (3:18) Re-think…love. For your husband, wife, kids, parents. Jesus says that we demonstrate that we are His… by the love we show to others. Re-think…Love…kinda like… “Gentlemen, this is a football”

08/18/2010

Aging:

A quick reference with counseling wisdom and biblical insights to help make you more effective at what you do.

We love being a part of your life! Tim Clinton, Ed.D. President, AACC

Aug 18 – Aug 24 Aging

Action Step

For older persons:

Poor health and the loss of independence are not the inevitable consequences of growing older. To preserve health and independence, older persons should consider the following strategies:

1. Early detection of diseases
• Screening to detect diseases early, when they are most treatable, saves many lives. Older adults should be encouraged to participate in the recommended screenings.
2. Healthy lifestyle
• A healthy lifestyle is more influential than one’s genes in helping older people avoid the decline traditionally associated with aging.
3. Immunizations
• Flu shots, pneumonia vaccines, and other important immunizations reduce a person’s risk for hospitalization and death from illness.
4. Preventing injuries
• Falling is the most common cause of injury with older adults. More than one-third of adults 65 and over fall each year, and of those 20–30 percent suffer moderate to severe injuries that reduce mobility and independence, says the CDC. Remove tripping hazards in the home and install grab bars in key areas, like bathrooms. These simple measures will significantly reduce older person’s chance of falling.
5. Programs to help adapt and self-management
• Consider finding programs to teach older Americans self-management techniques. These programs help older adults cope with and manage with the transitions of their later years.

For Caregivers:

1. Rank the need
• Have the caregiver and the elderly person rank needs in order of importance. Begin to brainstorm with the elderly person how those needs can be met with minimal upheaval. Most of the time, the choice is not between living alone or moving to a nursing home. There are dozens of options in between, including:
• Non-medical home care for cleaning, meals, or home maintenance
• Meals on Wheels and similar programs for delivery of meals
• Help at home during key hours for things like bathing and dressing
• Adult daycare during daytime hours for those who have family members with them at other times
• Seniors housing complexes (apartment complexes with some extra supports available that are offered at a lower price for needy older folk)
• Shared housing with a younger person (who is not a family member)
• Retirement home living (that oft en relieves an older person of loneliness or the need to make meals, maintain a home, and so on)
• Catered/sheltered care or assisted living (situations that provide meals, some medication reminders, transportation to stores, and other support services)
• Care in a private group home (where 2–6 older people might be cared for by a couple who make care-giving their full-time job)
• Skilled nursing care
2. Consider the Effects
• Consider the effect of any changes in lifestyle on all family members, not just the older one. A change in location, for example, will not just affect the older person but also any family members who are going to be involved.
• Attempt to keep upheaval to a minimum, especially if family life for caregivers is already tense or demanding. (Adding a family member requiring 24-hour care to a household with teenagers or a special-needs child, for example, might not be the best idea.)
3. Consider All Options
• Enumerate all the options and then give all of them much prayerful consideration.
• Enlist several people—both in and outside the family—to pray about the possibilities.

Biblical Insights

God’s laws include prohibitions against disrespecting the elderly. The “gray headed” and the “old man” are to be treated with honor and respect.

The Bible commands respect for one’s elders, who have much to teach from their vast experience.

Our generation tends to emphasize the importance of youth, but God uses servants of all ages.

Age does not limit God’s ability to work through people. As long as we have breath, we should be serving God.

The Bible identifies the key to Caleb’s lifelong health, vitality, and special favor with God. He “wholly followed the Lord” (Joshua 14:8).

Caleb is a wonderful model for the proposition that a faithful life—one that perseveres through every trial and hardship—is rewarded with blessings in old age.

People’s lifetimes are but a small measure in the hand of God; it is “as nothing” to Him, like a raindrop in the ocean.

One of the great challenges of aging is to understand that, while time is passing, God is working through us to make a difference in the world.

No matter what our age, we must use our time wisely, fully, actively, and selflessly, giving thanks for each new day and seeking how God would have us serve Him.

Older people oft en feel that because they lack their youthful vigor, they cannot effectively serve God. God says, however, that His people “shall still bear fruit in old age” (Psalm 92:14).

Older believers have a lifetime of wisdom and experience that is valuable to younger people. Believers can and should continue to grow spiritually even in their twilight time. They can continue to make a difference for God, helping build His kingdom.

Young people must not dismiss older people; instead, they should look to their elders for the godly wisdom they have from years of knowing Christ.

08/16/2010

The Pearl:

Ugly, with a hard crusty shell. They just lay around in murky shallows doing nothing. Virtually useless. Certainly never able to produce anything of value and worth. They are called oysters. Inside of these crusty creatures a miracle often occurs. Somehow a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and the shell. It’s kind of like the oyster getting a splinter. It is painful. However, upon penetrating the outer shell, the “splinter” encounters a natural phenomenon. The oyster’s natural reaction is to begin to cover the irritant with layer after layer of a hard, smooth, colorful substance. Over time, a beautiful, valuable pearl has been created. Maybe something incredibly painful is stuck in your heart. It is there. You feel it every moment of every day. It won’t go away. It seems as if the pain never lets up. You wonder if relief will ever come. The Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 8:28… “We know that for those who love God, ALL things work together for good…” The “splinters” of life can be used by God to make us look more like Jesus (vs29). Verse 31 encourages us by declaring… if God is for us, who can be against us? Whatever it is that has wounded you…take it to Him in prayer. Let him cover it with His Grace…layer by layer. Hang in there with Him through the healing process, and that pain will eventually be transformed into a valuable, beautiful pearl.